…The Digital Playground (I) Express yourself…

It’s hard to know where to begin… 

First thought: lead with something I’ve always held to be true. And it is; I struggle with beginnings. I’m an aspiring writer; living life with some 42+ stories percolating in a place that only I know; on a stage of infinite stories unfolding in real-time –As the world turns. And I move slowly… 

I want to say I am just beginning.

Second thought: who am I kidding? I struggle with endings more than anything. I wonder about the characters I see on the screen when a movie or show fades out. I connect to characters for the most part on how their experiences and personas, perceived flaws and imperfections all, shape who they are as events unfold.

I see the people I know in the things they do. And the things they don’t, or other characters do- I prepare myself to see the people I don’t know before we’ve even met, and wonder if I’ll pass the test when I do. Or finally realise that I’ve already met them. And I couldn’t see it.

I’ve never found one peer group whose taste in music endeared us to one another; I like a little of everything, and religiously enjoy nothing- I refuse to consider music in who’s and why’s, when’s and to what degree. Artists don’t end. They never ‘lost it’. And my playlists will never make sense. Albums are rigid. Genres are restrictive. If I find that I don’t want a song to end- It’s mine!

My favourite video game is Final Fantasy 7- A game in a prolific series that had been unknown to me until I discovered it second-hand- a steal at just £5- and within 30 minutes I knew I’d never be happy without role-playing games in my life. I’ve played it so many times, I’d love to sit down and work out just how much of my time I’ve given to it over the years. And to this day, I’ve never finished it.

That might well partly explain why I seem to be the only person who loved ‘Final Fantasy- Spirits Within’, and was… appreciative of, but more or less utterly deflated by ‘Final Fantasy- Advent Children’. The first; a unique, moody and beautifully animated work of dystopian fiction with meta-prophetic undertones. -1984 with ‘random encounters’? Yes please.

The consensus back then had been a sense of disappointment that the events of the film were ‘Final Fantasy’ like Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy are ‘Batman’… but, you know… before we had Christopher Nolan’s trilogy to dispel the myth that works of fiction can’t be adapted to better reflect the realities of the human condition without losing the magic of it’s fantasy-laden roots. We know better now, don’t we?

Anyone familiar with the live-action X-men movies might be interested to try sci-fi series ‘Alphas’. though only 2 series aired before ratings sacrificed Alphas to the Gods of network greed… And the sci-fi curse. Why, Firefly? WHY!? (I promised myself I’d get through this without crying, damnit!) — Anyway, Alphas. All I’ll say is… X-men 2.0, “Nolan style”. (Oppa Nolan style! (DAMNIT! No impromptu pop-culture puns. Bad! Excuse me for a moment, I need to sit and think about what I’ve done. ¬¬) And I don’t even like that song!

I want to say that this blog has gotten away from me. I’m really not sure where it’s going. I wonder when I’ll know I’m finished. –But the Penny’s in the air.

But I digress. Wheareas Final Fantasy- Spirits Within had been something new, Final Fantasy- Advent Children had been based on the world featured in a game from the title series. Returning to the characters of Final Fantasy 7 a short while after the game’s sequence of events had come to a stop (the very final moments of which, I can’t claim to know). Fanservice! I cried. Wall-to-wall fan-service of the worst kind! And as the only fan who evidently wasn’t ‘serviced’ by the instalment, I stand by my old declaration.

BUT I struggle with endings, right? So maybe there’s that to consider too.

I want to say that I don’t like endings. I’m just beginning. And the song’s not over.

Third thought: Who am I kidding? If beginnings- and endings- are hard for me then by comparison the middle should come easy? As if. I’m too busy thinking about how it started, and how it’ll end.

The theme is becoming apparent. I struggle with all of it. The penny drops.

And though I’ve been sitting here a while, editing away, internally I’m much more… efficient. Inspiration struck, and quickly fled the scene- or so I first thought, until it finally dawns on me that inspiration is intent on taking me along for the ride. And like the Coyote, I’m about to realise that I’m in motion… even if I’ve yet to look down.

‘Geronimo!’ — 

I hadn’t considered that from the moment I hit the ‘new post’ button, the blog had been created, themed, and the first entry written. A pilot was all that was required.

Welcome to the Digital Playground. An attempt at ‘self’ exploration. Of reading between one’s own lines. Of Expressing one’s ‘self’. I don’t know what shape it’s going to take yet. Or do I?

For now, boys and girls. Like the song says. Express yourself.
–Blogger Anonymous_ Warren Pece (and I approve the beginning of this message). Roll credits, cue N.W.A. Ttfn xo

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